Learn

the difference between shyness and introversion. “Introverts are apt to be quieter, which is often interpreted as shyness,” says Katharine Myers in Self-Promotion for Introverts: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead, by Nancy Ancowitz. “However, it may or may not be. Shyness has more to do with a lack of social skills. Introverts are more self-contained, which can seem shy.” Even so, introversion and shyness are related. Introverts are more likely to be shy than extroverts. You can be an outgoing introvert (like me!) – which means you’re fine to make small talk for a few hours, then you run out of gas.

Figure out

how introverted you are. Most college students have both introverted and extroverted personality traits. And, most students tend to be a little more one than the others…which is why taking a test for introverted personality traits is helpful! For instance, if you’re highly introverted, then you might want to focus on college activities and goals that allow you to be alone most of the time. Introverted college students prefer to focus on details; they avoid groups or energetic social situations.

Accept

your shyness and social anxiety. Many college students think they’re socially inept, weird, or antisocial – when they’re really just introverted! Introverts don’t always realize that they’re drained by groups of people and that they process their thoughts and feelings differently than extroverts. The more college students know about introverted personality traits – and the more comfortable they are with themselves – the easier it’ll be to overcome feelings of shyness and social anxiety.

Create

a realistic, healthy school schedule. Schedule “downtime” into your routine – time to be alone, to do what you love, and to re-energize (introverts are drained by groups of people). Balance your downtime with activities with other college students. Don’t become a hermit – that won’t help you overcome shyness and social anxiety! Rather, challenge yourself to do one or two healthy social activities a week. Learn how to make small talk for introverts (it’s a social skill that many introverts have to learn, and it helps them set and achieve their life goals like no other skill can).

Combine

your natural strengths with social interactions. Marcus Buckingham is a career coach who advises people not to focus on their weaknesses. Instead, college students have to figure out what their strengths are, and sharpen them even more. “It’s ironic that your strengths can be so easy to overlook, because they’re clamoring for your attention in the most basic way,” says Buckingham, who wrote Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance. “Using them makes you feel strong. All you have to do is teach yourself to pay attention. Try to be conscious of yourself and how you feel as you’re completing your day-to-day tasks.” College students, what are you good at? Can you combine your strengths with social activities? If you feel good about yourself in a social situation, it’ll be easier to overcome shyness and social anxiety.

Written by: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen